Have you ever wondered why you can have a great relationship with someone, have a wonderful time with them, talk to them, share your heart with them, feel so full and so free. Then a few hours or days later, it's no longer enough?
I love my husband we have an awesome relationship but he doesn't fill me.
I have 5 beautiful children but they don't fill up that void.
I have friends, relatives and a church family, but they are not enough.
I have myself, my mind and the thoughts of my heart, but that is not enough.
I always need MORE!
When will I ever get "enough"?
To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. Genesis 3:16
"The curse for Eve and all her daughters cannot be limited only to babies and marriage, for if it were true then every single woman without children get's to escape the curse. Not so. The meaning is deeper and the implications are for every daughter of Eve. Woman is cursed with loneliness (relational heartache), with the urge to control (especially her man) and with the dominance of men (which is not how things were meant to be, and we are not saying it is a good thing- it is the fruit of the fall and a sad fact of history). Isn't it true, aren't your deepest worries and heartaches relational, aren't they connected to someone? Even when things are good, is your vast capacity for intimacy ever filled in a lasting way?"
John and Stasi Eldredge in Captivating
I know there are other women who have felt this same way, I have talked to them and we have shared this openly. But never have I really understood the reason. I have always sort of wondered....why?
I have experienced this today. A long day home with the children, my husband gone to work on a project. My deep need for relational communication was sooooo apparent and haunting to me. Understanding why I sometimes feel so needy and so alone really has helped me understand myself. God made me the way I am, a relational creature, the curse makes loneliness something I will never escape. Now that I know that, understand the why, I actually feel much better, accepting myself without judgement and with a stronger reliance on the God who created me.