tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-77669502664958379472024-03-14T14:49:25.169-04:00Love's Unfolding JourneyLove's Unfolding JourneyCrystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-74354443062542709732016-04-07T20:29:00.002-04:002016-04-07T20:39:31.381-04:00To Make Time Stand StillI just need it to stop, just for a moment.<br />
Time.<br />
But it doesn't.<br />
It won't.<br />
It can't.<br />
The impossibility of time bending to my will.<br />
I want it to be over.<br />
I want it to last forever.<br />
I want it to be tomorrow where hope lives and freedom rules.<br />
Where justice is served and my heart is as free as my spirit.<br />
What do you do when time needs to move quickly...<br />
Yet you want it to stop tick, tick, ticking.<br />
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This is the beginning of my admitting, my confessing to myself that my marriage is over. <br />
In fact it's been over for a long time.<br />
"You've had your foot out the door for the last three years!"<br />
Have I?<br />
If it's true then the truth doesn't hurt.<br />
It's a painless blow.<br />
It's an inanimate object with no life or feeling.<br />
It just lays their between us.<br />
The gulf grows.<br />
I find comfort in the distance.<br />
I can breathe again.<br />
I can feel again.<br />
My bed is safety.<br />
There is peace within my walls.<br />
My mind becomes my fortress.<br />
The strength I daily find is incumbent with resilience.<br />
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There is no more sifting through questions seeking for answers.<br />
There is the simple and plain truth spread before me like a picnic blanket in the sun.<br />
The food is prepared and displayed.<br />
Each dish present holds sorrow and betrayal.<br />
There is shame.<br />
There is loathing.<br />
There is joy and love nestled in with the condiments.<br />
They are the children that this banquet produced.<br />
They are the salvation of the hope that never dies.<br />
They are my saving grace, the desert whose sweetness never ends.<br />
In the midst of the vile and the persecuted...<br />
The gift of innocence and the proclamation that it wasn't all for naught.<br />
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I am learning to be my own authority. How I navigate the unknown waters of my new found and deeply appreciated independence. I have removed the filter and within the uncharted waters of freedom, I trail my fingers through, contemplating the coolness and fluidity of the liquid.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGGT0RFVtIWoAMjdj1Z-bBjm691eqvVCiIZudl5hfVIGhz-xsCRkPclrzW8zgS2qCBJzMGaJj51vmP9aR6FKporBu-DFCWqNl9llyV819h0GcMTEuZF_A6c8xSIt75cWsaSTmfvBZt_E/s1600/IMG_3975.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGGT0RFVtIWoAMjdj1Z-bBjm691eqvVCiIZudl5hfVIGhz-xsCRkPclrzW8zgS2qCBJzMGaJj51vmP9aR6FKporBu-DFCWqNl9llyV819h0GcMTEuZF_A6c8xSIt75cWsaSTmfvBZt_E/s320/IMG_3975.JPG" width="320" /></a>I determine that I will be present in the moments, all the moments where time keeps ticking. I will be present to feel the joy that I believe in, the beauty found in small things that take my breath away. I will look into the face of love and dare to believe that it is true, it is just and it is given. I will find beauty in the small things because the small things aren't small at all. They conjoin in a mass of joy to burst into being the big things that matter. The creation of things that always matter.<br />
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I matter.<br />
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There is freedom in the sound of surrender. Surrender to time that will neither stand still or speed ahead. There is freedom to feel what I feel and accept the truth and the facts for what they are.<br />
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This is my life. I am present. I am here. I exist within this never ending vortex of time.<br />
<br />Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-44585944078266081542016-03-09T00:03:00.001-05:002016-03-09T00:03:27.894-05:00Scripture Ponderings 1 Corinthians 9:1-15<div style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 22.4px; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">My scripture passage was 1 Corinthians 9:1-15. Here was my ending <span style="line-height: 15.36px;">prayer</span>, "<span style="line-height: 20px;">Lord, please help me to have an attitude of complete trust with you. Please help me to trust you step by step no matter what my future holds. Please help me to follow your leadership in my life and enable me to love and serve my children. I love you so much." </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"> This scripture passage meaning was not immediately clear, and I plan on asking my pastor for his insight into it, as well as digging into a commentary on it. I did capture the thought of 1 Corinthians 9:14 where Paul speaks of those who "proclaim the gospel getting their living from the gospel." I assume this means that those who proclaim the gospel will be fed not only with the spiritual nourishment of the word of God, but also with physical nourishment resulting from sharing the gospel. Such as making a living from it. Or it could mean that those who proclaim the gospel will be taken care of by the gospel. Essentially, those that proclaim the gospel will find divine provision from the Heavenly Father, He sees their tireless labor and He will reward them as they deserve. Paul has certain rights as an apostle and as one who has proclaimed the gospel. However, he is pointing out that he refuses to take advantage of these rights, and instead, chooses to live simply and by faith. I also took another application here, and that is, God will provide for those who honor Him in their labor and kingdom work. It brings to mind, "where God guides, He always provides."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> Slick, M. (n.d.). Is it okay for pastors to be paid for ministry? Retrieved March 08, 2016, from https://carm.org/pastors-paid </span></div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-75994217028605881702016-02-25T19:51:00.002-05:002016-02-25T19:51:22.131-05:00Pondering Job<div style="background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.4px; margin-bottom: 7px; padding: 0px;">
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<span style="line-height: 22.4px;">"Lis</span><span style="line-height: 22.4px;">ten, O Job; stop and consider the wondrous miracles of God." Job 37:14 NLT</span></div>
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"<em>Praise the God who gives, and takes awa</em>y," Casting Crowns. Learning to praise God in spite of the <span style="line-height: 17.4545px;">difficulties</span> we face is a challenging task. Learning to trust Him when we cannot comprehend and lean on Him when we cannot see. To trust His heart for us when we simply cannot, absolutely not understand. Learning to glorify God for His wondrous miracles. In Job's life we see physical evidence of God's tremendous miracles. His favor is evident in the profound blessing He bestows after Job <span style="line-height: 17.4545px;">perseveres</span> through his great calamity. Yet this brings up the question, what do you do when things do not work out in your favor? Essentially, even though Job was restored in multiple ways, it did not bring back his <span style="line-height: 17.4545px;">original</span> children. How do we reconcile the "wondrous miracles of God" when we do not receive our desired miracle? <span style="line-height: 17.4545px;">I have struggled with this question myself.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 17.4545px;">Like any other normal person, I love a happy ending. When all things work out, everyone is happy and the good guy wins. Yet in the entirety of Job's story, he did not really win, he overcame. He was not passive, he had to choose to stand in faith in the midst of his questioning and desolation. The wondrous miracles of God are often displayed in the fact that He has brought us through our difficulty in one piece. That somehow, in spite of our doubts, tears and agonizing questions (often receiving no answers) we emerge from our trials to proclaim that God is good! He will bring beauty from these ashes and He makes all things beautiful in His time. The wondrous miracle is the work He does within our hearts, within the battle. The wondrous miracle is Christ within us, the hope of glory.</span></div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-78701972989538629242015-11-27T18:01:00.001-05:002015-11-27T18:12:03.868-05:00Gratitude Perspective<br />
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Do you ever struggle with gratitude?</div>
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Have your feelings ever challenged your perspective to be thankful?</div>
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I have challenged myself with this quote today.</div>
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On the day after Thanksgiving, my husband is at work and the kids and I are alone here.</div>
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Feeling lonely and like the world doesn't care.</div>
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I've struggled with these feelings multiple times in my life.</div>
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I've spent time drowning them out by staring into my kids faces, occupying myself with work, finding an activity to do or calling/texting a friend, or drinking coffee.</div>
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But on the days when the children have tested my patience, (I've gotten on my own nerves today) I don't feel like working, (all the pies are made) the activities that need doing are cleaning and laundry (again) and there's no friend to call because they are occupied with their own lives, and the coffee is drank...</div>
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This is when gratitude becomes a challenge.</div>
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I'm missing Karagen.</div>
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It's been three years and I found myself daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to have her alive, in our family and filling our hearts and lives as a 12 year old.</div>
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Today's challenge, for every negative thought;</div>
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Find 5 positive thoughts to replace it.</div>
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As I have learned and continue to learn,</div>
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Gratitude is a choice.</div>
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To focus on what I do have,</div>
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not what I wish to have.</div>
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Thank you Lord for the blessings I see, and those I do not.</div>
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For the challenges that test my faith and force me to look to you.</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-65572992796915596782015-11-10T11:09:00.003-05:002015-11-10T11:45:41.025-05:00Quick Update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Akkk! God is always trying to teach me patience. Here I am just wanting to get things done, have them fixed...all figured out and I am forced to wait. Apparently I still need lessons in patience. *Smile<br />
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Things are working out though, and I do get to use my gift of perseverance to help my family. Last week I was perusing jobs for Jonathan while he worked during the day. He had an accident on October 15, and his trailer hauling job was brought to a standstill. I saw an article for Fry Communications and told him about it so he went and applied in person the next day. (We had a grand plan of him applying quickly and then finding a used car later so Gracey and I went with him) His application process and subsequent physical and drug test took the entire day so Gracey and I hung out in the van all day, sigh. But, he got the job!!<br />
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Gracey and I entertaining ourselves while we waited in the van.</div>
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This week, after spending all day on Saturday looking for a vehicle, we finally bought another car yesterday and I've dubbed it Big Red- haha. It's standard and I took it for a spin last night, Vaughn said I needed more practice as I was a little jerky shifting. LOL Jonathan also found out yesterday that instead of working night shift, he will be able to work day shift, 6 am to 6 pm, 7 days on and 7 days off. Things are working out, slowly but surely. After 120 days of work we will have benefits as well. Woohoo!<br />
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Last night I finished up my Personal Stewardship class and finished with all A's. How exhilarating! I have a weeks break and will start Oral Communication next week. Not sure how that will work in an online class. You can't know how happy I am that I am FINALLY working towards a degree!<br />
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Today I have a few errands to run, then a Leadership Committee meeting tonight at 6:30 pm. I really love being on our church's board and really enjoy seeing what God is doing in our church. Seriously, it's awesome to be an integral part of the inner workings of our church. Jonathan and I are also participating in an intense discipleship course which involves daily devotions, accountability and scripture memorization. I am putting all my verses to music. I sing them every morning as I'm getting the kids up and ready for school. I am working on creating new habits. Here is my first ones; Get up, drink water, make my bed, do about 10 minutes of exercises before I leave my room and daily quiet time. So far, 3 days of success!<br />
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Last but not least, Last Saturday, November 7, we got to meet our newest nephew, Jesse Alexander Lund! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsGjX2849tWJmDCQtIKcbhWBwfVZVOxCbMGYUfxTvrS9aEbD8IfDDO3Rff8Yg8Tdbw0_O9p1d18J55TiNGy4aNF-kfWMvj0XCT0vecFZoK5IkgfBTDZc8ztjtUqK6x-qSW2-i9KMRsWaY/s1600/IMG_0419.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsGjX2849tWJmDCQtIKcbhWBwfVZVOxCbMGYUfxTvrS9aEbD8IfDDO3Rff8Yg8Tdbw0_O9p1d18J55TiNGy4aNF-kfWMvj0XCT0vecFZoK5IkgfBTDZc8ztjtUqK6x-qSW2-i9KMRsWaY/s400/IMG_0419.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Here are the two verses I put to song. These links will take you to my YouTube channel.<br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/OI0f66Ep2yk" target="_blank">2 Peter 3:18</a><br />
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<a href="https://youtu.be/gQyJ0DKo2OU" target="_blank">Matthew 6:6</a><br />
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-29485771479603714562015-11-06T19:22:00.002-05:002015-11-06T19:22:45.317-05:00When is enough, enough?<div style="color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif, Arial, Verdana, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;">
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When is enough, enough? My mind immediately jumps to thoughts of things in life which I will always need again. I will always need to eat, drink, bathe, sleep and pray and read my Bible. Enough, will never be enough of these things. I pray that I will never lose the hunger and thirst I have for more of God and to know and love Him better. Really though, we need to look towards contentment and that is the point of the devotional. 1 Timothy 6:6 states; "Godliness with contentment is great gain." Pointing to the fact that these two ideas are combined, godliness and contentment. We could think of them as twins. They go together. Do you want to be content? First seek godliness. Seeking and finding more of God will instill in us a Christ-likeness and our soul cravings will be satisfied when we love God supremely. Loving God supremely is not a destination, a place we arrive at; "we've made it, we're done." No, it is something we come to, again and again. My prayer is that I never say, enough, is enough in the light of spiritual matters.</div>
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In light of being content in earthly things, it is a matter of the heart. We should not seek to build wealth for selfish purposes but for the purpose of being a good steward of what God has blessed us with. Contentment is a disciple that will need to be both sought after, implemented and practiced. Esau picked himself up after being treated wrongly by his brother. He built wealth and when confronted with the confession and penance of his brother, he essentially told him, "it's OK, let it go, I have." Who knew we could learn a lesson from the firstborn underdog?</div>
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But Esau said, "I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself."</div>
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Genesis 33:9</div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-62275476571446848892015-10-30T11:37:00.002-04:002015-10-30T11:37:19.080-04:00Job Loss, Now What?<div style="color: #333333; font-family: sans-serif, Arial, Verdana, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.8px;">
I just love when I open a devotional and find it is exactly what I need to think about and it is applicable for my current situation. Here we are, this very week, facing incredible repercussions from my husband wrecking his truck and his subsequent loss of work. Why is it so hard to ask for help? It feels like a major wounding of pride and dignity. Perhaps something that God doesn't even want in my heart in the first place. Or is it just the fact that I wish to have my life in order (like a good Christian should) and when hardships come, I question my integrity and christian walk, as if painful and difficult situations are a reflection of my inner character. </div>
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I have asked for help this week. God has provided for our rent. We are currently seeking (my husband and myself) other employment. Several people have given money for groceries. I have a roof over my head and shoes on my feet, hey, I even had my beloved coffee this morning. It is a beautiful thing when you see the body of Christ acting like the body of Christ. When we pull together and help one another. When out of nowhere, provision for that unmentioned need is met. When there is abundant proof that God is watching over my family and that He loves us, ever so much. </div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-67209987739028588142015-08-01T19:55:00.002-04:002015-08-01T20:07:47.983-04:00My Thoughts on Stress...<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
Some of you know that I am going to college and pursuing a Bachelors degree in Leadership and Ministry. This weeks lessons and discussion have been on stress and so timely for me. I am sharing what I posted in my class discussion area. I have included the comments from my fellow students about my post.</div>
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Stress is the shovel that digs an early grave. Stress increases risk for disease and if one were to go to the doctor with strange, unexplainable symptoms the question would surface, "have you experienced any recent stress?" "Stress is the process of appraising and responding to a threatening or challenging event." Women tend to have higher rates of stress then men do. Men are compartment thinkers, women are connected thinkers, this may contribute to their varying reports of stress. When one is stressed the immune system is repressed making it easier to get sick. When my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer, we asked the doctors desperately, "what caused this?" We were told that even the common cold could have stressed out her body just enough to mark the beginning of cancer growth. There are studies that prove a link between cancer and stress. Stress doesn't necessarily give someone AIDS but it will definitely be a contributing factor in how well the body fights off infections. Basically, stress increases the vulnerability to most diseases, including heart disease.</div>
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We are to "cast our cares on Him," we are "not to fear," we are to "trust." God promises to provide peace and comfort when we surrender our stress and worries to Him. He doesn't wish us to carry our burdens alone, "His yoke is easy and His burden is light." He wishes to enable us to have peace and to sense His love and reassurance that He will take care of us.</div>
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I have faced the tremendous challenge of stress many times in my life. One way I cope with stress is to envision myself beyond the difficulty. The next way is to look back over my life and recall the many, many times God has gotten me through tough times. The third and hardest thing is when I surrender the stress and/or stressors to Him. I give Him my needs and take my hands off while acknowledging that sometimes, I have no control over the outcomes. Fourth, I try to plan ahead to eliminate unnecessary stress. Fifth, talk to a trusted friend or loved one. Learning to cope with stress is not something I'm perfect at. Quickly surrendering it to God would help me feel peace sooner. I hope to memorize scripture that will encourage my faith in this area.</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">Crystal, upon reading your post, I was engulfed with the Holy Spirit. It put things in a different perspective for my life. In my many years, I have encountered stressful situations and I am ashamed that I have not handled them as graciously as it is clear that you have. The things that have been put on your plate have brought you through with a strong grasp of how reliance upon our God as forged your path. Stress can either consume you or make you stronger, and it is quite evident that it has enhanced your relationship with our heavenly Father. It proves that God will not give you more than you can handle. Our God is an awesome God!! Your post truly touched my heart. Blessing, Kati</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"></span> <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">Crystal,</span></div>
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; margin: 0px 0px 7px; padding: 0px; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">"Stress is the shovel that digs an early grave." This is a great and accurate statement. I am dealing with more stress right now in my life than ever before. Sometimes I honestly think it is going to kill me, until I pick up my Bible. One thing I am learning to do is look for God's fingerprints on all situations. Sometimes it takes a little detective work, but it is helping me tremendously. I look at every stressful situation and try to figure out how it could glorify God. I do this because I know that if God is allowing it, He has a purpose for it. Knowing that is what motivates me to fight through it. I know it is going to end the way that God wants it to. The Bible says, "Be still, and know that I am God!" (Psalm 46:10, NLT).</span><br />
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"Cast you cares on Jesus", my mom used to tell me that all the times. Actually that was how she ended each call we shared while I was in prison. At first I didn't want to hear what she had to say, but over times I began to realize the true meaning of that and my stress and anxiety began to subside over the years I was away. I began sleeping better and my depression began to be lifted from my shoulders.</div>
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When all seems dark and there seems to be no where to go "cast your cares on Jesus"<br />
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And from my Facebook this week-<br />
Stresses in family, stresses in finances, stresses in several other situations. I'm glad to have a wonderful husband and a loving Heavenly Father. "When my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock, that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2</div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black;">"Be still, and know that I am God!" (Psalm 46:10, NLT). </span><span style="color: black;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f2f2f2; color: #666666; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 13.33px/18.66px "Trebuchet MS", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 1; word-spacing: 0px;">When you don't know what to do, "Be still." When you don't know what to think; "know that I am God."</span></span></span></div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-14887791280752900842015-07-22T12:16:00.001-04:002015-07-22T12:42:53.968-04:00Grandma's Tribute<div style="text-align: center;">
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Grandma, Lois Fern McDonald, lived a full life and each of her grandchildren were happy to have experienced a part of it. She had nine grandchildren; Melissa Schau, Curtis Morehead, Michelle DeCaire, Carrie Longnecker, Crystal Roberts, Susan Hancock. Mahlon Lund, Michael Lund and Lisa Cabezas-Anno. I feel so honored and blessed to have known her. I liked to think I resembled her some; we were both petite, had dark hair, blue eyes and lots of freckles. The truth is, each of us (her grandchildren) are a part of her and are a small piece of her that will live into the future and cherish her memory.</div>
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We all have unique memories of Grandma, it's impossible to sum up 87 years into a few paragraphs. Often the word "Grandma" was synonymous with the word "Grandpa." "Let's go to Grandma and Grandpa's house." These two words went together like peanut butter and jelly, or spaghetti and sauce. In fact, we were able to see the love and commitment they shared through 60, almost 61 years of marriage. Those of us who are married know how much love and commitment marriage takes, Grandma and Grandpa modeled that to us. Curtis said that what stood out to him was the love that Grandma and Grandpa shared, even after all those years. They were like two kids in love and it was incredibly sweet.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: small;">Memories of her are something we all will cherish as we move through life without her. Memories of little things she would say, or advice she would give. Michelle shared a memory of a time when she was working on her tan. After Michelle finished sunbathing, she walked past Grandma who said; "You'd better be careful Shelly, you'll end up looking like the neighbors!" She was feisty that's for sure. Grandma had the cute way of continuing childhood nicknames into our adulthood. Curtis was always CJ, Michelle was Shelly, Mahlon was always Joe or Joey.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"> Other memories we have of her include Diet Dr. Pepper, oh how she loved that soda. We remember her hair which had to be perfectly curled then was stiff with hairspray. I remember being fascinated with her hair and touching it in wonder. She loved doing her hair and Michael remembers her doing her hair with a Bonnet hair dryer she used to have in the living room. Years ago she was into artificial nails and I remember admiring her dainty hands and her long slender fingers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> Some of us remember shopping trips where we were enlisted to carry her purse, even though it was super heavy. One time I looked inside and I was amazed by all the items within it. A favorite memory of mine involved Ramen noodles. Grandma fixed me a cup for lunch, I decided I did not like them. I asked for a tissue and Grandma said yes. (She was watching TV) I asked for another and another and she kept saying yes. I was surprised my plan was working so well! I kept getting tissues, spitting the noodles into them, then I threw them into the kitchen trash. Then, someone tattled on me, Michael says it was him but he was too young to talk yet. I believe Grandma figured it out after my continued pleas for tissues. *smile* I was placed firmly in the corner. I can still remember the smell of the corner as I spent a fair amount of time there. We remember hugs, lipstick kisses that smelled like butterscotch candy, going out to eat when she was well, long talks, new coloring books with crayons, lots of pool time with her watching us (that made her so happy to see us having fun in the pool) and being sent outside when she wanted to watch her Soap Operas, thank goodness!</span></div>
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As we grew older, married and had children of our own, the memories shift to us bringing our children to Grandma and Grandpa's house. Her face would light up with so much joy when she saw the faces of her great-grandchildren. Picture after picture shows her love of babies and of her love for her great grandchildren. Susie remembers her saying "I love you" and when she said that, we all knew she meant it. It could be said that her family meant everything to her.</div>
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As we contemplate the ending of the making of memories, the ending of a precious life, we think of all she has given us, and of the love we all have of her. Although her presence will no longer be with us, we all will hold on to the sweet memories we have of her. We will cherish and honor her memory and tell our children of her. We will be thankful and grateful to have had Grandma as "our Grandma!" We love you Grandma. We will <u>always</u> love you and we will <u>always</u> miss you!<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">I was honored to be able represent the grandchildren at my grandmothers funeral on Sunday, July 19, 2015. This was my tribute to her.</span></div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-39409045707233370662015-07-21T00:09:00.003-04:002015-07-21T09:56:13.640-04:00I'm Mad, He's Mad...Wait, Who's Mad? <br />
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Sometimes you just have a great day, that almost turns into a BAD day. Today was our trip to Knoebels. It's a perfect, family friendly amusement park about an hour and a half from our home. The morning saw me rising at 6:00am to squeeze in some homework that I've not had a chance to get submitted. (I'm going to school online with a major in Leadership and Ministry) The morning was going along famously, I made coffee (first thing-of course!) and sat by the back door and enjoyed the quiet and the chirping of the birds for a few minutes, then it was back to work for me. Jonathan made a smoothy and the children got ready for the big day. We all worked together to pack our backpack with water, sunblock, wipes and medicine. Ahhh, things were shaping up to be perfect.<br />
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We had received free tickets to the park and we were to meet up with other friends from church who had decided to go. You can't beat free right? Well, the two other parties were late-no big deal in our book, we just relaxed in the van with our AC and Dunkin Donuts. But here's what made them late, Route 22/322 was shut down due to a tractor trailer crashing, spilling chickens everywhere and then it burst into flames. Those poor chickens, they were headed to market and met an untimely death. Crispy chicken anyone? The truck driver was ok, but those routes were closed until 1:30pm. We passed so many cars who were stranded in the heat, miles and miles of people stuck in an unmoving line. Yup, bad day for chickens and for people.<br />
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We arrived safely at Knoebels and had a blast. Towards the end of our wonderful day, Jonathan and I had a heated misunderstanding. Don't you know all married people fight once in awhile?! Any way, here we were, finishing up our day and come to find out he had spent 30 minutes looking for me while I blissfully took the kids on a couple of rides. When he finally found me, with the two youngest in tow, I was happliy seated in a bumper car with Jacob (my nephew), eagerly anticipating bumping all the cars I could. (After the attendant got me unstuck of course.)</div>
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I happily emerged from all my bumping glory only to find a very unhappy husband, who proceeded to tell me how unhappy he was. He looked for me for 30 minutes and I didn't answer when he asked to use someones phone (I was too busy taking pictures and my phone didn't ring). I was embarressed and wanted him to quit but we were soon arguing in front of everyone. Yup, our pastor, yup, my brother, yup, our kids. I didn't cry though! Ha! Our Pastor and my brother said an awkward goodbye, I couldn't even look at them as they left. Jonathan and I continued for a few more minutes, trying to come to terms with each other.</div>
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We soon decided to return home as I had several class assignments due by midnight tonight and we were all tired. The car ride home was quiet. Hey, I was sleeping-err studying. We got home and Jonathan crashed for a nap and I continued to work on my school work. When he woke up, we were both in our right mind and were able to thoroughly discuss our disagreement. I will spare you the details. I will just say this, he made me feel like I did so many times as a child, like I was standing before a cruel judge without being allowed to speak for myself. I had made him feel left out and like he was missing all the fun, something he also felt as a child. (Anyone who knows Jonathan will agree that Fun is his middle name)</div>
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Yeah, we have childhood issues, yes we have adult issues but there is no one I'd rather fight with, grow with and love with. The fighting always draws us closer and so often brings growth and renewed understanding, We are so thankful for how God has come in and healed our marriage and we are amazed everyday at the love we share.</div>
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*This happened after an incredibley stressful and busy week last week, with schooling, piano lessons for the kids, family visits, job stress, a misunderstanding within our church (which still needs prayer), traveling to Henderson to pick up our ship (Uncle Frank made for the kids) which took an entire day Friday and into the wee hours of Saturday morning, my grandmother passing away, and then her funeral on Sunday which was a 3 hour drive from Marysville. Let's just say we were only home to sleep. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">The Family that Fights together, Stays together-Right?</span></div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-62476271046928382762015-05-29T19:09:00.001-04:002015-05-29T19:32:58.827-04:00Flash Friday (Our Day in Photos)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
My bed buddy while Daddy is away.</div>
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Sorted clothes.</div>
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My helpers-</div>
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"It's too heavy Mom!!" This is his exaggerating face.</div>
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All done, it wasn't too heavy after all...</div>
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The church across the street.</div>
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Our home.</div>
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Quick scooter run before breakfast.</div>
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Spoiled, William ate his oatmeal on the counter. It's the seat of honor, really.</div>
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Shoe check, yup, wrong feet.</div>
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My lunch/breakfast.</div>
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Sorting-de-cluttering</div>
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Homemade bread.</div>
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Another mess to clean up.</div>
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Cheaters (SMART) way of getting the tops smooth.</div>
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Onions for our soup.</div>
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Speaking of messes...</div>
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Get it done!</div>
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<br />Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-78311109283617435702015-05-28T19:26:00.001-04:002015-05-28T20:54:29.113-04:00Quick Update Wow, I'm finally able to begin blogging again. The emphasis is going to switch to an honest look at my life, thoughts etc. I still have a heart and burden for ministry and stuff. Right now not much of that is happening-at least officially. There have been so many changes in the last year that hopefully I'll be able to share.<br />
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Today, I was finally able to get my blog looking half decent. It was much easier since I know what colors I enjoy and like. <a href="http://crystalr1.dressingyourtruth.com/friendspecial" target="_blank">Thanks Dressing Your Truth!</a><br />
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My day today looked like this- my alarm went off at 6:15. I hit the snooze and squeezed in a few extra minutes of sleep. Then it went off again and I reluctantly got up. Emmaus was sleeping with me and when my alarm went off for the second time, she went to her room to get more sleep and I made my bed. Win!<br />
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I came down to the big recreation room and picked it up. There is ALWAYS something on all my floors somewhere. I often think a perfect day would include floors free of clutter. I wonder if I'd miss the toys, random socks, towels, trash, and what was that?! I can't identify it...<br />
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My two nieces and nephew arrive and I'm talking sweet and greeting them. That William (2) really is a heart melter, don't tell him, but even when he's at his naughtiest, he's still a cute little stinker. Elizabeth is quiet and busy and has an extremely inquisitive mind, and is always asking questions. Sharon is a little buttercup, soft, tiny and petite. She's very easy to please and loves to cuddle. They play in the large play area and I go upstairs and begin food prep and <strong><u>coffee </u></strong>in the kitchen.<br />
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Eventually my 3 oldest children wake up and come downstairs. Here comes the questions, "Are you dressed? Are your shoes on? Emmaus, did you comb your hair? Vaughn, your shoes are on the wrong feet. Silas, get dressed now! You have 5 minutes!" (Said in my best stern voice accompanied by "the look") Silas comes down in clean pants, but no shirt. While I'm cooking the eggs. I finish them up, then run downstairs to the basement (because I've washed and dried laundry, but it's all down there unfolded, calling me...) I find him a shirt, yeah it might be his brothers-but yes, it'll work. I come back up and toss it to him, then finish dishing up the plates- let's see how many kids today? Oh yeah, 8. This morning we're having scrambled eggs and homemade banana cake. (Which reminds me, I still have tons of bananas to use up.) Everyone is seated peacefully at the table, but pretty soon, there's a wee one asking for a drink. Oh yes, drinks! Then there's another asking for a drink, and another..."Go sit down and quit nagging!" So, onto the drinks. Hmm, I have a little orange juice, a little apple juice-and water! There we go, how many cups? Oh yes, 8. Where is William's sippy?<br />
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Finally, breakfast is over (not cleaned up) and its time to get the littles up to the bus stop. On the way I'm double checking Vaughn's shoes, Emmaus walks beside me hanging on me making it hard to walk up the hill. I disengage from her hanging and take her hand, checking her head to see if she combed her hair. Hey! It's neatly brushed-WITH a headband! Win! Silas is running on ahead, Vaughn is trailing behind. We manage to be a few minutes early, another WIN! Wow, when you're me, your winning is small things.<br />
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This was just the morning.....lol.<br />
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Here's a few pictures from today- I'm spray painting these sandals silver.<br />
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See the mess? The towel is down to dry up the bubbles that were spilled, a half filled large bottle of bubbles. Thank you William...</div>
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Me-I get dressed with makeup most days. It helps me to feel human....</div>
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I've been working on painting these jewelry pendants I bought for cheap off of eBay several months ago. I'm just using nail polish.</div>
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<br />Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-23504204119203277542014-03-23T15:31:00.000-04:002014-03-23T17:02:34.914-04:00All I Ever NeededWe went to our districts Ministerial Retreat and had a wonderful time. On Friday night we finally got to bed at 1:30am (technically Saturday 3/15/14) I was to give a devotional to the district pastors wives on Saturday and was thinking and praying about it as I drifted off to sleep.<br />
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Reaching the early hours of morning my phone alarm went off and I awoke quoting <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+139:17&version=NIV"><strong>Psalm 139:17</strong></a> <br />
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How <b>precious</b> to me are your thoughts, God! <b>How</b> vast is the sum of them! and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jeremiah+29:11&version=NIV"><strong>Jeremiah 29:11</strong></a> <br />
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For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span>, “plans to prosper you <b><b>a</b></b>nd not to harm you, plans to give you <b>hope</b> <b><b>a</b></b>nd <b><b>a</b></b> <b>future</b>. I was coaxed out of a beautiful dream that left me sitting on the side of the bed with my head swirling. Trying to grasp the full import of what had just been seen in my sleeping mind. I have never woke from a dream quoting scripture, and these verses struck my subconscious mind then went straight to my heart.</div>
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In this dream I was following a line of small red berries each about the size of a marble. I didn't notice anything else except those berries. I was gathering them up as fast as I could, all the while following the trail of them. I stuffed them into my pockets, pulled out my shirt like a bowl and filled it full, anywhere I could put a berry I did, until my hands and arms was full of these berries. </div>
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All of the sudden I came to the very last one, there were no more. And like any good gardener who comes to the end of the line, I stood up to survey where I had been, and see what was ahead. Looking back was nothing but darkness, pitch black darkness. I turned to face forward and there right in front of me was a HUGE clear container FULL of these little red berries. It was 4 times taller and me, and so wide. It contained thousands, no millions of them! My arms went slack. The many berries I had desperately gathered in my arms fell to the floor in deafening silence. Right before my eyes was all the berries I could ever need, enough for me, my family and more!</div>
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Then it hit me as I sat on the side of the bed, groggily recalling my dream. This was for me....God had sent this dream for me. I have tried, and fought, and cried, and prayed and sought to believe that God had a future for me. I had longed to believe that I would feel hope again and regain interest and that spark of life I had been craving since Karagen died. The message in the dream was a promise that He had a future and a hope, for me! That the thoughts He thought of me were precious, how great is the sum of them! I could spend my whole life trying to accept my circumstances and trying to gather as much strength (the berries) or peace (the berries) or hope (the berries) or whatever. All I ever needed could be found in Him! Without measure, without end!</div>
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This dream has changed me. Somehow it has spoken peace to my very troubled heart. I have struggled with depression, nothing kept my interest, it seemed like my very life was sapped out of me. My spark was gone, and I struggled with constant sadness, and numbness and nothingness. Since this dream I know that God has awakened my heart, He has breathed life into me! He has blessed me with His presence and Wow, it feels sooo good.. This is healing. This is Life. This is Hope.</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-91642044732115260632014-03-19T19:58:00.000-04:002014-03-19T19:58:46.289-04:00PeaceIf you could see inside my heart and pictures could be words....<br />
You'd see peace.<br />
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At long last.....<br />
peace.<br />
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There has been a battle raging inside of me for so long,<br />
without relief.....<br />
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The ripping and tearing, if you could feel it and see it,<br />
You'd see me in thousands of pieces<br />
Scattered.<br />
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I felt like Humpty Dumpty,<br />
with no hope of ever being put back together again.<br />
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These words were claimed,<br />
"My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"<br />
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Drowning.<br />
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Numb.<br />
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Angry.<br />
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Hot, stinging tears.<br />
They burned my eyes and seared my heart.<br />
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A heart that was crushed 1000 times over.<br />
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Silence.<br />
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Silence.....<br />
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Silence.....<br />
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<strong>Peace.</strong><br />
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<strong><em>And you are complete in Him.</em></strong><br />
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<strong>Colossians 2:10a</strong>Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-71505863687101495262013-10-24T12:02:00.002-04:002013-10-24T12:02:24.949-04:001 Year....and a DayHow can one year be gone already?<br />
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I ask that.<br />
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Time marches on.<br />
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Like a million leaves falling...<br />
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My memories mimic the season.<br />
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My feelings too.<br />
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Sadness, constant sadness.<br />
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Confusion.<br />
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Depression.<br />
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Anger.<br />
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Loss.<br />
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Tears...oh so many tears.<br />
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Emptiness.<br />
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Struggle.<br />
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Weakness.<br />
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I cannot bear to visit her grave. She should not be there, she should be with me...with us.<br />
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I accidently write her name.<br />
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I accidently call her in from play....still.<br />
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I dream of her and awake with tears and crying sighs.<br />
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I feel the emptiness she left behind. Oh how I feel it.<br />
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I receive gifts in her honor, I feel mocked and wish for her. I don't want things, I want her.<br />
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I have little shrines to help us remember what I can never forget.<br />
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She's gone and so is a part of me.<br />
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I feel bad this seems so dark, so bleak. But this grief is so great, so heavy. I miss her so much, there aren't enough words to describe how much.<br />
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-2671984475869951122013-08-10T17:13:00.000-04:002013-08-10T17:18:53.269-04:00I'm Out of the BoxAnd maybe a little crazy.....<br />
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Here's proof-<br />
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I like to think of myself as a food explorer- and since I ditched the box (boxed food) I make</div>
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<strike>strange</strike> strangely delicious food. Here's my latest adventure of "out of the box" cooking.</div>
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What you need-</div>
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2 avocados</div>
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1-2 c. yogurt</div>
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1/4 to 1/3 cup honey</div>
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Blend together in a blender until creamy</div>
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1 large bowl of fruit.</div>
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1tsp. fruit fresh to prevent browning of your fruit.</div>
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Add to your favorite mix of fruit and stir until well blended.</div>
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(mine is whatever I have on hand to throw in there)</div>
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This closely imitates the boxed pudding idea, except it's way healthier.</div>
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So...Yum!</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-17283519169516073982013-08-05T11:25:00.001-04:002013-08-05T11:42:44.592-04:00Lily Lake Camp Trip 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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On our way- taking a break at a rest stop. Emmaus and Lucy.<br />
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Vaughn walking Teddy, not sure which one looks happier.</div>
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Jachin actually smiled for Mommy<br />
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Great Grandma Braisted and Gracey.</div>
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I really don't know what they are looking at.<br />
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Silas is quite the charmer. He had just told Great Grandma " I love you, you beautiful woman!"<br />
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At the Discovery Center</div>
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Jonathan's mom's work purchased this stone in memory of Karagen, it is in the garden at the Discovery Center.</div>
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Big chair at the discovery Center. I need one of these.</div>
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Silas had a butterfly walking all over him.</div>
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Visiting with Janet Dixon- Gracey was trying out all the chairs.</div>
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Singing wit the children at camp with streamers. Silas was supposed to up there too, but he decided he needed sleep.</div>
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SADLY I didn't get any photos of Grammy! Or Pop Pop.....next time I guess.</div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-2624500823942886522013-07-09T10:55:00.000-04:002013-07-09T10:59:29.330-04:00For you KaragenAnd for me.....<br />
<br />
Finding words to express how we feel after losing Karagen is difficult. Describing emotions even more so. We love Karagen yet "I love you" doesn't say enough. We miss her yet "I miss her" can never describe the feelings that well up when we mention her name....or a memory floats through our minds.....there are no words and there is no comfort close enough to ease the ache. It simply is impossible.<br />
Sometimes I ask myself when will I get over this? Then I realize, I will never get over losing her....I will never get over loving her. I will live the rest of my life with an ache where there was once the glow of love. Her unique presence filling my heart with its life and warmth.<br />
Then to realize that there is few pieces left of the woman I used to be and the life that I used to live. There is only what remains and that is forever altered. I have to get to know myself again, re-learn how to live, excepting this "new" me. Fragile yet strong. Emotions unpredictable. Either gushing tears or silently angry or somewhere in between.<br />
There are no words terrible and awful enough for death. If there were I'd say them. I'd rend my clothes and sit in sack cloth and ashes and still would feel no better. There is no "feeling better".<br />
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Yes it's hard to describe.<br />
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Here is a poem we read in our Bereaved Parents Group. Of all the poems we read this touched me the most.<br />
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<strike>Jessie's</strike> Karagen's Piece</div>
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The world's a jigsaw, once I thought,</div>
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With each of us a piece to fit,</div>
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A predetermined Grand Design</div>
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And each of us a part of it.</div>
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I thought that God must surely have</div>
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A blueprint of His final goal,</div>
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And all who come into this life</div>
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Are meant to play some fated role.</div>
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But when my little<strike> Jessie </strike>Karagen died,</div>
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It seemed to me but sheer caprice</div>
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Where fits a child in God's design</div>
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Who never lived to add her piece?</div>
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How often I walk alone</div>
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To still the anguish in my heart,</div>
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To ask why God would make a plan</div>
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In which my child had no part.</div>
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One day upon a village square,</div>
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I happened by a tiny shop.</div>
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What random step had led me there?</div>
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What in the window made me stop?</div>
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It was a quilt, a crazy quilt,</div>
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Each brightly colored patch,</div>
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A joyful work of art</div>
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From scraps you'd think would never match.</div>
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I looked upon the quilt with awe</div>
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To think a thing so oddly fine</div>
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Was stitched from fragments never made</div>
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To fit anyone's design.</div>
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I wondered then if God might wish</div>
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That in this way His world be built,</div>
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Each life a motley-colored scrap</div>
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And He the weaver of the quilt.</div>
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If such be true, I realize,</div>
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My child's life, though short it be,</div>
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Is yet a joyful, shining patch</div>
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In God's eternal tapestry.</div>
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I looked upon the quilt and saw</div>
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A patch that seemed sheer caprice,</div>
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So whimsical it made me smile.</div>
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I knew it was my <strike>Jessie's</strike> Karagen's piece.</div>
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by Robert Brault<br />
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<strike></strike></div>
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I love you Karagen. Our family is not complete without you.</div>
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Forever. I love you.</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-73976387820668207772013-06-23T14:09:00.000-04:002013-06-23T14:11:38.467-04:0011 Years!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We've been married 11 years, where does the time go? Saturday, June 22, 2013</div>
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We had a wonderful date, we went to Texas Road House where we enjoyed rolls, salad, steak (Jonathan) chicken tenders (me) baked sweet potatoes, coffee and water. We then went to Slaughter Beach in Delaware, where we walked and walked.</div>
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The beautiful moon!</div>
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Horse Shoe crabs were everywhere. May and June is their spawning season. Jonathan kept rescuing the stranded ones by flipping them back over after the waves flipped them on their backs. Their eyes are on the top of their heads-the small brown round things.</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-34053346939232125862013-05-12T16:13:00.001-04:002013-05-12T16:19:48.604-04:00Mother Day 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I want to remember this day, this moment.</div>
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I wanted to remember Karagen on this day, we took some solar lights to her grave and took our family picture there.</div>
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Gracey climbed up for some snuggles while I was napping.</div>
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Jonathan wrote me this wonderful letter below, I think I'm going to frame it.</div>
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There are few words to describe the complexity of my feelings today. I miss Karagen more than I can ever describe, yet am surrounded by so many blessings too numerous to count. I am so thankful for the 5 beautiful children I still have to hug, kiss and love, they make my world go round.</div>
<br />Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-90393945351902985382013-04-20T13:51:00.000-04:002013-04-20T20:49:45.590-04:00Spinach Pita BreadSpinach Pitas/Snack Cakes<br />
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1 1/2 tsp. yeast <br />
2 1/2 cups warm water<br />
2 TBS sugar<br />
2 1/2 cup wheat flour (I use spelt)<br />
2 cups ground spinach ( I shred mine with some extra water in the food processor or blender) Measure spinach after grinding.<br />
1 tsp. salt<br />
1 TBS oil (olive preferably)<br />
2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups white flour (I use a mixture of spelt or whole grain)<br />
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Mix first 3 ingredients in a large bowl then add flour, stir. Let sit for at least 1/2 hour or up to 8 hours.<br />
Add salt and oil, mix. Then stir in the rest of the flour. If making into pitas you will need to knead in the rest of the flour. Cover and let rise 2 to 3 hours. Shape into balls, roll into circles then cook on hot griddle (between 350/400) for a minute on each side. If you want a softer pita, cook less, dryer, cook more.<br />
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For the Snack Cake variation simply add more water until you get a consistency slightly thicker than pancake mix. You can cut the rising time to 1/2 hour after the second addition of flour. Scoop them onto a greased hot griddle in the desired size and spread them a little with a spoon. Cook like a pancake.<br />
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This recipe also works well without the spinach.<br />
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Serve the snack cakes with peanut butter and yogurt mixed together, or homemade berry sauce, apple sauce or syrup-use your imagination. They are handy dandy and my kids love them!<br />
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I will post pictures today after mine are cooked.<br />
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They get eaten almost before they even hit the plate. These were made with my donut maker.</div>
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On the griddle. These are the snack cake version, they are softer and more moist.</div>
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Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-80469917821308419902013-04-10T13:00:00.002-04:002013-04-10T13:03:29.312-04:00Back To Eden Gardening...A Family Affair<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We are switching our gardening techniques this year. We don't have a lot of time to spend weeding and what not...so we looked in to gardening info and a local organic farmer told Jonathan about <a href="http://backtoedenfilm.com/about/index.html" target="_blank">Back to Eden gardening</a>. No tilling, you start by laying down newspaper 6-7 papers thick, cover that with wood mulch 6-7 inches thick, aged manure and then plant. Every garden needs 3 things, food, oxygen and water. If you are into gardening I highly recommend watching the video on the Back to Eden web site. I will be chronicling our journey and our results. We should have started our garden in the fall and let it sit all winter, but alas we just came across this gardening method. We are very hopeful!</div>
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Putting down the paper.<br />
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Capturing the renegade<br />
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Silas on top of the mulch pile<br />
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Mmhhhmm I can help too (Jachin)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6zDGJ4LMaoWAuPx-1yBscJUBYzGGHAEL-D60Tuomp1n7U9Ln4lMx-fMJxtH74qTs2rR9xrMQZqxAUvmf7T2MXYJTdervoaaCsD2anKJMKqDgsTRgjtMj11Be8hLLqu0NL3BuNaP_Yzc/s1600/5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW6zDGJ4LMaoWAuPx-1yBscJUBYzGGHAEL-D60Tuomp1n7U9Ln4lMx-fMJxtH74qTs2rR9xrMQZqxAUvmf7T2MXYJTdervoaaCsD2anKJMKqDgsTRgjtMj11Be8hLLqu0NL3BuNaP_Yzc/s640/5.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Emmaus the rooster.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-eQHEzF27dh43p3bjE7Q6FLqjF-0uk_AhMy6J2S5Qr_FMbcswPhOLd4FOqSS3LJGR_bD6NyQhThyBZjPvFro5GAtG5C6gGt3KBE15wD20uUu7adDCfVLpHPmm0Z0-TrXCORIWnj77UKs/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-eQHEzF27dh43p3bjE7Q6FLqjF-0uk_AhMy6J2S5Qr_FMbcswPhOLd4FOqSS3LJGR_bD6NyQhThyBZjPvFro5GAtG5C6gGt3KBE15wD20uUu7adDCfVLpHPmm0Z0-TrXCORIWnj77UKs/s640/6.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Handsome Hubby.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGSPuQXkrI1TtKpMtqrpmA8M4QLl2VxlU88inRa-5TgJHe9Jfu3rO9EooqJham6SZVumTbq6hk-qgZmguZyGKqdCEvNvlg_EIYewas75KJfD-SrDzk8vx5miZ4Fzz7r01YB8IeC97YLI/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoGSPuQXkrI1TtKpMtqrpmA8M4QLl2VxlU88inRa-5TgJHe9Jfu3rO9EooqJham6SZVumTbq6hk-qgZmguZyGKqdCEvNvlg_EIYewas75KJfD-SrDzk8vx5miZ4Fzz7r01YB8IeC97YLI/s640/7.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Hard working Buddy-Vaughn<br />
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Another rooster, he was born to be one :) (Silas)</div>
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Tuesday, April 9. 2013</div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-23693655910155475812013-03-31T00:13:00.003-04:002013-03-31T00:15:14.283-04:00Here I am Again.....Here I am again.<br />
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I'm at that place, that same place I keep coming to.<br />
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I feel so lost.<br />
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There is numbness.... it's cracking, it's breaking, it's giving way.<br />
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Here is pain which words cannot express.<br />
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I'm here tonight, down on my knees, on the floor.<br />
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I'm scrubbing the floor, washing it literally with my tears.<br />
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That pain won't go away because she won't....can't.... come back.<br />
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It hits me.....this is the bottom.....this is down.....this is what there is.<br />
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This is what is left....<br />
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the emptiness she leaves behind.<br />
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Jesus met me here, down on my knees.<br />
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Not in prayer, far away from prayer.<br />
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Not anywhere, just here.<br />
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He met me here, right here on the floor.<br />
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He washed my heart with my tears.<br />
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He met me here. <br />
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He met me at the bottom.<br />
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We received a cd from Steven Curtis Chapman while Karagen was sick. I have never listened to it, it was still wrapped in plastic, just waiting. After putting the kids to bed, I found that cd, and put it in. The whole cd is basically a grief journey-<a href="http://stevencurtischapman.com/music/beauty-will-rise" target="_blank"> Beauty Will Rise.</a> He made it after his daughter died suddenly in a tragic car accident. I just read his wife's book <a href="http://marybethchapman.com/choosing-to-see/" target="_blank">Choosing to See</a> which they also sent to me. MaryBeth wrote the book after their daughter passed away. I never had a chance to read it or listen to the cd but they have been a tremendous help to me. Tonight as I was listening to this cd, song after song expressed my feelings and my thoughts. It was....I can't find the exact words. It was amazing, it was necessary, it was beneficial, it was a God Thing,<strong><u> it was for me.</u></strong><br />
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We are facing our first Easter without her. It has been so hard. No pretty dress or shoes to buy, even though they all called her name. There is no Karagen to fill her place in our hearts. This time last year (not date wise, but holiday wise) I was in the hospital with her, she had emergency surgery on Good Friday and we were reeling from the news she had aggressive, extensive brain cancer and she might not live. On Easter morning she and I were in the hospital, she could hardly move, was doped up on morphine, and looked so tiny and pail. We <u>were there together</u>, <u><strong>she was there</strong></u>. I sat beside her hospital bed watching her while she slept. I paced to the window, wondering what the future held, dreading what it promised. I felt trapped, as so often I do now. Trapped in the moment, in the uncertainty.<br />
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Every single time, at some point, in some way.....<br />
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He always came.<br />
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And.....<br />
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Because He LIVES.....<br />
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I can face tomorrow.<br />
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Because He LIVES.<br />
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Click here to listen to the song that touched me so deeply-<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ4hgnfhRvY" target="_blank">Jesus Will Meet You There</a>Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-80490858473760855452013-03-21T20:33:00.002-04:002013-03-21T20:39:24.398-04:00Just a Drawer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I was just trying to organize the "hair drawer" which is always a mess, especially so since GraceyAnna get's into it. That's all I intended to do, organize a drawer. As I pulled scrunchies out, and hair ties, and head bands, memory after memory came.</div>
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I found the phone she loved to play games on and pretend with, the one Gina her friend from Community Bible Church in New York gave her..</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SvJigGr9g_iJ75cw7mwxOBYHCqgIB59-MsIpyeUdt-QmhvN4uu0aH7jMP9tEj7z0RpMZgNcBjjySfoSAhZnq1eRO4nGHUhK5drFMQvgev-i-dQyk73jeYr8j88AcBupuNX3ImbWeDD0/s1600/IMG_0775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7SvJigGr9g_iJ75cw7mwxOBYHCqgIB59-MsIpyeUdt-QmhvN4uu0aH7jMP9tEj7z0RpMZgNcBjjySfoSAhZnq1eRO4nGHUhK5drFMQvgev-i-dQyk73jeYr8j88AcBupuNX3ImbWeDD0/s400/IMG_0775.jpg" width="276" /></a></div>
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I found the head band she wore in the hospital when Aunt Kelly, Uncle Andrew and cousins Austin and Aubrey came to visit, all the way from Indiana.</div>
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I found the flowered head band that her and Gracey both wore, the one she wore after we shaved her hair.</div>
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Here were the rose hair ties she wished to wear when her hair grew back.</div>
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Here are the bracelets Karagen and Emmaus would fight over and I'd always admonish them to share.</div>
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Here is the curling iron I used to curl her bangs with.</div>
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Here is the hair tie she begged to wear the last time she went to church with hair. </div>
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Here is the drawer we used to organize together.</div>
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Here is the mommy, with tears in her eyes and the familiar lump in her throat. Accosted by memories that hurt to think about but I never want to forget. </div>
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Missing her again.</div>
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I miss brushing her thick, dark hair. Feeling her thick, ultra smooth tresses glide through my fingers.</div>
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I miss curling her bangs, braiding it, putting bows in it, inspecting it.</div>
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I miss seeing her smile when she liked "her do" it was all the thanks I ever needed.</div>
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I miss hearing the girls giggle at night and argue over bracelets.</div>
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I miss having that little girl at my side, going on little errands to put things away, keeping me straight, smiling at me.</div>
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Stupid drawer, I should have known why I procrastinated.</div>
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Treasured drawer, who knew you had so many precious memories hiding among the mess.</div>
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<br />Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7766950266495837947.post-20164015984805605502013-03-20T19:29:00.001-04:002013-03-20T19:41:37.969-04:00Birthday! I have lived thirty onederful (wonderful, get it?) 31 years. My birthday was March 7. Jonathan and I went on a mini honeymoon, haha. It was so nice, we left home on Thursday March 7th and drove up to the Binghamton New York area for our church's district Ministerial Retreat. We met some family and some friends (though both couples feel like family) at Olive Garden, which if we ever meet like that again we will go somewhere else as some of our party had a difficult time finding food that interested them :) We had a tasty dinner then we went to a hotel for one night, just the two of us. The next day we had breakfast with Jonathan's mom and Grandma, then we met with more friends (including my 86 year old friend, who is so special!) went to Barne's and Nobles and sipped coffee and split an apple cheesecake slice, then we were able to go to the theater and watched the new Oz movie (in recliners no less), then headed to our retreat. We came home late Saturday. All in all it was a wonderful time!<br />
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Here are a few birthday pictures:<br />
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Jonathan and Emmaus made me a carrot cake. <br />
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Jeremy and Lorikate </div>
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Scott and Abby</div>
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Jonathan and I (I was getting a little warm)</div>
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The Birthday Girl. I am laughing in the picture below because Gracey was trying to get in the picture, you can just barely see her head. </div>
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I was so amazed and IMPRESSED by this beautiful quilt a special someone made and gave me for my birthday. Jonathan said I'd better not say who so they won't get a bunch of requests :)</div>
Crystal Robertshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06914035333385872175noreply@blogger.com1