Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Wednesday, April 4, 2012, the day my life changed forever.  The day the doctor said: "You'd better sit down.....there's no easy way to tell you this".....the day the future, my hopes and dreams changed forever.  "Your daughter Karagen has a tumor along her spine, it is compressing her spine and that is what is effecting her legs.  She also has a tumor in her brain."   Words.....just words.... but the truth....a reality I did not...... DO NOT want to face. 
  My daughter has medulloblastoma, a rare brain cancer.  The difference with Karagen's case (hers is very rare) the tumors in her spine are massive, she has them the entire length of her spine.  She has the golf ball sized tumor in her brain, and then smaller lesions throughout the brain.  How can it be that my beautiful daughter is being killed from the inside out by the monster cancer?  How can it be true that we could be losing her?  How can I lose her, how am I supposed to let her go?  How can we choose treatments that will put her through further suffering, burn her with radiation, cut her with surgery, drown the cells with chemo?  She has already had emergency surgery on the area of her spine, her incision goes from the back of her head to between her shoulder blades, this surgery was to save the function of her legs.  Little did I know that this surgery was only the beginning of the waiting, the agony, the unknown, the known.

This is a moment by moment process of trying to trust God  I say trying because I am--just--trying.  My emotions meet hope and look up, only to speak with the doctors the next moment to be reminded  that our chances are slim, they come crashing down to despair.  I am praying, committing, believing, crying, trying......grieving.....crying.
And yet I focus on one true thing, Cancer is not the big "C"  Christ is!


  1. Crystal you all have been heavy on my heart. I have no words, other than I'm praying for you and your sweet daughter.
    I would love your address.

    In prayer,

  2. Praying for you tonight!
    I wish I had the words!
    Hugs and tears,

  3. Our address is Karagen Roberts Po. Box 15, Henderson Md. 21640

  4. Oh, Crystal! I am so sorry to hear this news, my sister. We are praying for all of you. I know your Mama's heart is breaking. May the LORD pour out extra grace and strength on you. I hug you in my heart and send much love to you across these miles!

  5. Oh Crystal, I am so sorry. We will be lifting her up in prayer and sharing this prayer request with other believers. You will be knowing Jesus in ways you never have before. May you find comfort, peace and solace in His lap. Love and prayers, dear sister!

  6. God is holding His daughter in His arms! We are praying for you knowing that Christ understands and cares. We will not stop praying!

    David B.

  7. Crystal....I'm sitting here crying as I read this. As u and Jon both know, Tiarra my oldest was diagnosed with this same tyoe of cancer April 10th 2011. I personally kniw what u as a mother are going through because of our journey this last year. When Tiarra was diagnosed with a tumor on April 10th, we didn't know what type it was or even that it was cancerous until April 11th when the biopsy came back. She was operated on on April 12th in what was supposed to be a semi short surgery...roughly 6 hrs. But it turned into almost 14 hrs!! She also had stuff on her spine....her brain tumor was stage 4 and the size of a English walnut. She's been through sooo much pain and sickness it just breaks my heart, but she's made it...and that's what counts! The doctors were very concerned about her not being able to be a normal child or even making it through the first 2 weeks after surgery....but she's made it and has shocked everyone with how well she's doing.
    I pray for guys every day. My heart is extremely heavy today...but I luv ya guys and I know it might not seem like there's much hope, but keep holding on. Keep listening for the positive things from the doctors...yes, u will be on an emotional roller coaster, but keep hanging on to HIS hand and you WILL get through this!! It's tough I know, but where there is FAITH and HOPE....there is HEALING!!
    Prayers and LOADS of love,


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