Wednesday, April 18, 2012

So....I Fight

It comes in and invades my life- so I fight.


Threatening to steal more than my daughters life -so I fight.


Creeping in to bring distance and disconnection into our entire family structure- so I fight.


I could lose it all- so I fight.


In the silence- I fight.


In all the uncertainty, the questioning- I fight.


In the darkness, amidst the roaring in my head- I fight.


I fight- to be  strong, to have courage, to make it work, this new way of life with cancer on board.  To be for my husband, to be for my daughter, to be for my children, to be for all those who need me to be- I fight. I fight to stay sweet, to remain positive, to not snap at the children, to be the mother, the wife, the Christian...... God wants me to be.  I fight to be.  I fight.

4 comments:

  1. You keep fighting but remember you aren't fighting this alone. God doesn't expect you to carry all of the burden. He wants to carry it for you. Other people wan to help as well because they love you and they love God. Focus on Karagen, the children, and Jonathan. Everyone else, everything else can wait. We'll keep praying and offering encouragement whenever we can, baby girl!

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  2. Crystal you have the right to scream and let it all out. You are only human and you ned to have someone there for you also. You need someone you can confide in who will listen and then help build you back up again. Crystal this is a lot on your plate and you need to understand that if you get angry and want to scream and ask why it is okay God will understand. Even Jesus said on the cross if you can take this from me please do. we all falter and need someone to help build us up.

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  3. Lifting you up in prayer my friend.

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  4. May God lift you up on eagles' wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like
    the sun, and hold you in the palm of His hand!

    Continually praying!
    Melody

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