I took a walk today, all by myself.
I saw the litter scattered along the roadside, just like it was on the last walk we had together.
I could hear her voice begging me to pick up the litter so we could "help the planet."
Those pieces of trash thrown out carelessly and randomly with no order....just like my thoughts....my missing her.
"Can we pick up the trash Mommy?"
Can you pick up these pieces Lord, and fix my broken heart?
"It will make it look so much nicer."
It would feel so much better if this pain were gone.
The breeze blew gently in my face....and I breathed deeply, trying to imagine (for the umpteenth time) Karagen lifting her face to the warmth of the Light of heaven, feeling it's fragrant breeze brush her cheeks, and lift her thick, dark hair. She is smiling...always smiling. All her tears are gone and I revel in the thought that she doesn't even miss me, the thought makes me happy.
I talk to the sky.
"I miss you Karagen, I always will. I have to tell you, my heart feels a little better today, it doesn't hurt like it did in those first weeks after you died. It's a relief really.
Daddy and I talk about you everyday. We will never forget you. We both want you to know that you changed us, your life, your illness and your death. Through it all you made us stronger. Thank you sweet girl.
I can hear you telling me not to cry about your pain, because you don't feel it anymore.
I asked Jesus to give you a hug and kiss for me last night, so if He's giving you extra, that's why.
I took a walk today and remembered. I smiled, no tears!
Nothing special, just a walk to remember.