Yet I WILL trust Him!
On Wednesday Karagen had her first round of radiation. She came out from that shivering uncontrollably, yet trying not to complain. The shivering lasted over a half hour. After that came the migraine like headache, then the throwing up, again and again. I drove the 2 hour drive home with a little girl in agony.
Once home she went straight to bed and slept fitfully between puking. We gave her some anti-nausea meds, tylenol and finally just let her sleep fitfully with nothing to comfort her except a cool wash cloth on her forhead.
The next day Jonathan and I decided to discontinue her radiation treatments and to switch her over to palliative care- now it feels a little like we are letting our precious daughter die. Being told your child has only a 15% chance of survival with aggressive treatment that will ruin her life for the next few months was too much-we called it.
Thursday was spent grappling with the results and feelings of that decision, trying to cope and be strong and keep trusting in God. Our faith reaching out to our Loving Heavenly Father.
Friday morning (our 10th anniversary) we found out more devestating news concerning a close family member. Lives and relationships shattered and family thrown away like garbage.
Then today, our dear friend came over asking if Jonathan was home, he was away dealing with the above crisis, so I was asked to help come open a neighbors door. Rose has two apartments that she rents out. In one of them is a dear lady who has just had surgery. Her front door was unlocked and the neighbor (the other apartment resident) had been worried because she had not seen the first lady all day which is especcially strange as she has a dog she walks regularly. I helped try to open her locked bedroom door, and finally slammed it open with my shoulder. I found her dead.
So I ask, could this week get any worse? Please don't answer that!