These questions burn in the hearts of the best of us, and choosing to trust in a God who seems to care little about the affairs of men seems insane. We do not, and cannot understand God's love, even after we come to Christ. Unfortunately our view of love and truth will forever be skewed by our humanity. Did you have a perfect father? Have you had a perfect life? Then you are blessed with a life that is foreign to the majority of the rest of the world.
Our world is severely broken, and so are we. We demanded our independence from God, and He gave it to us all those years ago in Eden. We remain forever angry with God for loving us enough to give it to us. That's what happened when Israel wanted a king, He warned them of the consequences, in detail, yet they persisted. And everything He said would happen- did. So our own actions, and the actions of others taint our view of love, of God's love. We wrestle with life and grapple with things beyond our comprehension. The questions are difficult, but the truth even more so.
Believing the truth requires faith and simplicity like a child, and who of us want to go there? It is way too vulnerable. It is extremely hard to rescue someone unless they are willing to trust you. Like a drowning person, they are out of their minds in panic mode and they could drown their would be rescuer in their effort to maintain control. All God asks of us, "Let me rescue you, let me love you". I have no true understanding of God's love, my view of God is so tainted and twisted by my experiences and humanity. To believe that God loves me, and would do anything for me, yes has done everything for me, is incomprehensible. I have been on a quest my entire life to understand His love, and still cannot. I long for the perfection of heaven, where " I will know even as I am known."
I long for my friends and family to see, feel and believe His love. I long for them to know that I believe. God is love. He is more than a question, He is the answer where there is no answer. He is above and beyond. He is Light and Health, He is Hope and Healing. He is strength and peace. He is everything. He is...... love
So please do not discourage this heart that swells with love and respect for Him. He has a love that has never let me go! Please search for Him, seek Him and cry out to Him. Until you have given your all to find Him and have had faith like a child, until you have looked fully to Him.....please do not tell me that true love is impossible!
I leave you with these thoughts:
God is a verb.
An infinite God can give all of Himself to each of His children.
He does not distribute Himself so that each may have a part,
but to each one He gives all of Himself as fully as if there were no others.
A. W. Tozer