My Thoughts on Stress...

       Some of you know that I am going to college and pursuing a Bachelors degree in Leadership and Ministry.  This weeks lessons and discussion have been on stress and so timely for me.  I am sharing what I posted in my class discussion area.  I have included the comments from my fellow students about my post.

 

 Stress is the shovel that digs an early grave.  Stress increases risk for disease and if one were to go to the doctor with strange, unexplainable symptoms the question would surface, "have you experienced any recent stress?"  "Stress is the process of appraising and responding to a threatening or challenging event."  Women tend to have higher rates of stress then men do.  Men are compartment thinkers, women are connected thinkers, this may contribute to their varying reports of stress.   When one is stressed the immune system is repressed making it easier to get sick.  When my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer, we asked the doctors desperately, "what caused this?"  We were told that even the common cold could have stressed out her body just enough to mark the beginning of cancer growth.  There are studies that prove a link between cancer and stress.  Stress doesn't necessarily give someone AIDS but it will definitely be a contributing factor in how well the body fights off infections.  Basically, stress increases the vulnerability to most diseases, including heart disease.

      We are to "cast our cares on Him," we are "not to fear," we are to "trust."  God promises to provide peace and comfort when we surrender our stress and worries to Him.  He doesn't wish us to carry our burdens alone, "His yoke is easy and His burden is light."  He wishes to enable us to have peace and to sense His love and reassurance that He will take care of us.

     I have faced the tremendous challenge of stress many times in my life.  One way I cope with stress is to envision myself beyond the difficulty.  The next way is to look back over my life and recall the many, many times God has gotten me through tough times.  The third and hardest thing is when I surrender the stress and/or stressors to Him.  I give Him my needs and take my hands off while acknowledging that sometimes, I have no control over the outcomes. Fourth, I try to plan ahead to eliminate unnecessary stress. Fifth, talk to a trusted friend or loved one.  Learning to cope with stress is not something I'm perfect at. Quickly surrendering it to God would help me feel peace sooner.  I hope to memorize scripture that will encourage my faith in this area.

Crystal, upon reading your post, I was engulfed with the Holy Spirit. It put things in a different perspective for my life. In my many years, I have encountered stressful situations and I am ashamed that I have not handled them as graciously as it is clear that you have. The things that have been put on your plate have brought you through with a strong grasp of how reliance upon our God as forged your path. Stress can either consume you or make you stronger, and it is quite evident that it has enhanced your relationship with our heavenly Father. It proves that God will not give you more than you can handle. Our God is an awesome God!! Your post truly touched my heart. Blessing, Kati

 

 Crystal,

"Stress is the shovel that digs an early grave." This is a great and accurate statement. I am dealing with more stress right now in my life than ever before. Sometimes I honestly think it is going to kill me, until I pick up my Bible. One thing I am learning to do is look for God's fingerprints on all situations. Sometimes it takes a little detective work, but it is helping me tremendously. I look at every stressful situation and try to figure out how it could glorify God. I do this because I know that if God is allowing it, He has a purpose for it. Knowing that is what motivates me to fight through it. I know it is going to end the way that God wants it to. The Bible says, "Be still, and know that I am God!" (Psalm 46:10, NLT).
 

Crystal,

"Cast you cares on Jesus", my mom used to tell me that all the times. Actually that was how she ended each call we shared while I was in prison. At first I didn't want to hear what she had to say, but over times I began to realize the true meaning of that and my stress and anxiety began to subside over the years I was away. I began sleeping better and my depression began to be lifted from my shoulders.

When all seems dark and there seems to be no where to go "cast your cares on Jesus"

And from my Facebook this week-
Stresses in family, stresses in finances, stresses in several other situations. I'm glad to have a wonderful husband and a loving Heavenly Father. "When my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock, that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2

"Be still, and know that I am God!" (Psalm 46:10, NLT). When you don't know what to do, "Be still."  When you don't know what to think; "know that I am God."

 

Grandma's Tribute

Grandma's Tribute
 

              Grandma, Lois Fern McDonald, lived a full life and each of her grandchildren were happy to have experienced a part of it.  She had nine grandchildren; Melissa Schau, Curtis Morehead, Michelle DeCaire, Carrie Longnecker, Crystal Roberts, Susan Hancock. Mahlon Lund, Michael Lund and Lisa Cabezas-Anno.  I feel so honored and blessed to have known her.  I liked to think I resembled her some; we were both petite, had dark hair, blue eyes and lots of freckles.  The truth is, each of us (her grandchildren) are a part of her and are a small piece of her that will live into the future and cherish her memory.

 

       We all have unique memories of Grandma, it's impossible to sum up 87 years into a few paragraphs.  Often the word "Grandma" was synonymous with the word "Grandpa."  "Let's go to Grandma and Grandpa's house."  These two words went together like peanut butter and jelly, or spaghetti and sauce.  In fact, we were able to see the love and commitment they shared through 60, almost 61 years of marriage.  Those of us who are married know how much love and commitment marriage takes, Grandma and Grandpa modeled that to us.  Curtis said that what stood out to him was the love that Grandma and Grandpa shared, even after all those years.  They were like two kids in love and it was incredibly sweet.

     
        Memories of her are something we all will cherish as we move through life without her.  Memories of little things she would say, or advice she would give.  Michelle shared a memory of a time when she was working on her tan.  After Michelle finished sunbathing, she walked past Grandma who said; "You'd better be careful Shelly, you'll end up looking like the neighbors!"  She was feisty that's for sure.  Grandma had the cute way of continuing childhood nicknames into our adulthood.  Curtis was always CJ, Michelle was Shelly, Mahlon was always Joe or Joey.
 

       Other memories we have of her include Diet Dr. Pepper, oh how she loved that soda.  We remember her hair which had to be perfectly curled then was stiff with hairspray.  I remember being fascinated with her hair and touching it in wonder.  She loved doing her hair and Michael remembers her doing her hair with a Bonnet hair dryer she used to have in the living room.  Years ago she was into artificial nails and I remember admiring her dainty hands and her long slender fingers.

            Some of us remember shopping trips where we were enlisted to carry her purse, even though it was super heavy.  One time I looked inside and I was amazed by all the items within it.  A favorite memory of mine involved Ramen noodles.  Grandma fixed me a cup for lunch, I decided I did not like them.  I asked for a tissue and Grandma said yes. (She was watching TV)  I asked for another and another and she kept saying yes.  I was surprised my plan was working so well!  I kept getting tissues, spitting the noodles into them, then I threw them into the kitchen trash.  Then, someone tattled on me, Michael says it was him but he was too young to talk yet.  I believe Grandma figured it out after my continued pleas for tissues. *smile*  I was placed firmly in the corner.  I can still remember the smell of the corner as I spent a fair amount of time there.  We remember hugs, lipstick kisses that smelled like butterscotch candy, going out to eat when she was well, long talks, new coloring books with crayons, lots of pool time with her watching us (that made her so happy to see us having fun in the pool) and being sent outside when she wanted to watch her Soap Operas, thank goodness!

  

      As we grew older, married and had children of our own, the memories shift to us bringing our children to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  Her face would light up with so much joy when she saw the faces of her great-grandchildren.  Picture after picture shows her love of babies and of her love for her great grandchildren.  Susie remembers her saying "I love you" and when she said that, we all knew she meant it.  It could be said that her family meant everything to her.

     As we contemplate the ending of the making of memories, the ending of a precious life, we think of all she has given us, and of the love we all have of her.  Although her presence will no longer be with us, we all will hold on to the sweet memories we have of her.  We will cherish and honor her memory and tell our children of her.  We will be thankful and grateful to have had Grandma as "our Grandma!"  We love you Grandma.  We will always love you and we will always miss you!

I was honored to be able represent the grandchildren at my grandmothers funeral on Sunday, July 19, 2015.  This was my tribute to her.

I'm Mad, He's Mad...Wait, Who's Mad?

     
           
         Sometimes you just have a great day, that almost turns into a BAD day.  Today was our trip to Knoebels.  It's a perfect, family friendly amusement park about an hour and a half from our home.  The morning saw me rising at 6:00am to squeeze in some homework that I've not had a chance to get submitted.  (I'm going to school online with a major in Leadership and Ministry)  The morning was going along famously, I made coffee (first thing-of course!) and sat by the back door and enjoyed the quiet and the chirping of the birds for a few minutes, then it was back to work for me.  Jonathan made a smoothy and the children got ready for the big day.  We all worked together to pack our backpack with water, sunblock, wipes and medicine.  Ahhh, things were shaping up to be perfect.

    We had received free tickets to the park and we were to meet up with other friends from church who had decided to go.  You can't beat free right?  Well, the two other parties were late-no big deal in our book, we just relaxed in the van with our AC and Dunkin Donuts.  But here's what made them late, Route 22/322 was shut down due to a tractor trailer crashing, spilling chickens everywhere and then it burst into flames.  Those poor chickens, they were headed to market and met an untimely death.  Crispy chicken anyone?  The truck driver was ok, but those routes were closed until 1:30pm.  We passed so many cars who were stranded in the heat, miles and miles of people stuck in an unmoving line.  Yup, bad day for chickens and for people.

       We arrived safely at Knoebels and had a blast.  Towards the end of our wonderful day, Jonathan and I had a heated misunderstanding.  Don't you know all married people fight once in awhile?!  Any way, here we were, finishing up our day and come to find out he had spent 30 minutes looking for me while I blissfully took the kids on a couple of rides.  When he finally found me, with the two youngest in tow, I was happliy seated in a bumper car with Jacob (my nephew), eagerly anticipating bumping all the cars I could.  (After the attendant got me unstuck of course.)

        I happily emerged from all my bumping glory only to find a very unhappy husband, who proceeded to tell me how unhappy he was.  He looked for me for 30 minutes and I didn't answer when he asked to use someones phone (I was too busy taking pictures and my phone didn't ring).  I was embarressed and wanted him to quit but we were soon arguing in front of everyone.  Yup, our pastor, yup, my brother, yup, our kids.  I didn't cry though! Ha!  Our Pastor and my brother said an awkward goodbye, I couldn't even look at them as they left.  Jonathan and I continued for a few more minutes, trying to come to terms with each other.

          We soon decided to return home as I had several class assignments due by midnight tonight and we were all tired.  The car ride home was quiet.  Hey, I was sleeping-err studying.  We got home and Jonathan crashed for a nap and I continued to work on my school work.  When he woke up, we were both in our right mind and were able to thoroughly discuss our disagreement.  I will spare you the details.  I will just say this, he made me feel like I did so many times as a child, like I was standing before a cruel judge without being allowed to speak for myself.  I had made him feel left out and like he was missing all the fun, something he also felt as a child.  (Anyone who knows Jonathan will agree that Fun is his middle name)

   Yeah, we have childhood issues, yes we have adult issues but there is no one I'd rather fight with, grow with and love with.  The fighting always draws us closer and so often brings growth and renewed understanding,  We are so thankful for how God has come in and healed our marriage and we are amazed everyday at the love we share.

*This happened after an incredibley stressful and busy week last week, with schooling, piano lessons for the kids, family visits, job stress, a misunderstanding within our church (which still needs prayer), traveling to Henderson to pick up our ship (Uncle Frank made for the kids) which took an entire day Friday and into the wee hours of Saturday morning, my grandmother passing away, and then her funeral on Sunday which was a 3 hour drive from Marysville.  Let's just say we were only home to sleep.  

The Family that Fights together, Stays together-Right?

LOL

         

Flash Friday (Our Day in Photos)

My bed buddy while Daddy is away.

 

 

Sorted clothes.

 

 

My helpers-

 

"It's too heavy Mom!!"  This is his exaggerating face.

 

All done, it wasn't too heavy after all...

The church across the street.

 

Our home.

 

Quick scooter run before breakfast.

 

Spoiled, William ate his oatmeal on the counter.  It's the seat of honor, really.

Shoe check, yup, wrong feet.

 

My lunch/breakfast.

 

Sorting-de-cluttering

 

Homemade bread.

Another mess to clean up.

 

Cheaters (SMART) way of getting the tops smooth.

 

Onions for our soup.

 

Speaking of messes...

 

Get it done!

Quick Update

   Wow, I'm finally able to begin blogging again.  The emphasis is going to switch to an honest look at my life, thoughts etc.  I still have a heart and burden for ministry and stuff.  Right now not much of that is happening-at least officially.  There have been so many changes in the last year that hopefully I'll be able to share.

     Today, I was finally able to get my blog looking half decent.  It was much easier since I know what colors I enjoy and like.  Thanks Dressing Your Truth!

  My day today looked like this- my alarm went off at 6:15.  I hit the snooze and squeezed in a few extra minutes of sleep.  Then it went off again and I reluctantly got up.  Emmaus was sleeping with me and when my alarm went off for the second time, she went to her room to get more sleep and I made my bed.  Win!

   I came down to the big recreation room and picked it up.  There is ALWAYS something on all my floors somewhere.  I often think a perfect day would include floors free of clutter.  I wonder if I'd miss the toys, random socks, towels, trash, and what was that?!  I can't identify it...

  My two nieces and nephew arrive and I'm talking sweet and greeting them.  That William (2) really is a heart melter, don't tell him, but even when he's at his naughtiest, he's still a cute little stinker.  Elizabeth is quiet and busy and has an extremely inquisitive mind, and is always asking questions.  Sharon is a little buttercup, soft, tiny and petite.  She's very easy to please and loves to cuddle.  They play in the large play area and I go upstairs and begin food prep and coffee in the kitchen.

  Eventually my 3 oldest children wake up and come downstairs.  Here comes the questions, "Are you dressed?  Are your shoes on?  Emmaus, did you comb your hair?  Vaughn, your shoes are on the wrong feet.  Silas, get dressed now!  You have 5 minutes!"  (Said in my best stern voice accompanied by "the look")  Silas comes down in clean pants, but no shirt.  While I'm cooking the eggs.  I finish them up, then run downstairs to the basement (because I've washed and dried laundry, but it's all down there unfolded, calling me...) I find him a shirt, yeah it might be his brothers-but yes, it'll work.  I come back up and toss it to him, then finish dishing up the plates- let's see how many kids today?  Oh yeah, 8.  This morning we're having scrambled eggs and homemade banana cake.  (Which reminds me, I still have tons of bananas to use up.)  Everyone is seated peacefully at the table, but pretty soon, there's a wee one asking for a drink.  Oh yes, drinks!  Then there's another asking for a drink, and another..."Go sit down and quit nagging!"  So, onto the drinks.  Hmm, I have a little orange juice, a little apple juice-and water!  There we go, how many cups?  Oh yes, 8.  Where is William's sippy?

  Finally, breakfast is over (not cleaned up) and its time to get the littles up to the bus stop.  On the way I'm double checking Vaughn's shoes, Emmaus walks beside me hanging on me making it hard to walk up the hill.  I disengage from her hanging and take her hand, checking her head to see if she combed her hair.  Hey!  It's neatly brushed-WITH a headband!  Win!  Silas is running on ahead, Vaughn is trailing behind.  We manage to be a few minutes early, another WIN!  Wow, when you're me, your winning is small things.

This was just the morning.....lol.

Here's a few pictures from today-  I'm spray painting these sandals silver.

                                     

    See the mess?  The towel is down to dry up the bubbles that were spilled, a half filled large bottle of bubbles.  Thank you William...

 

Me-I get dressed with makeup most days.  It helps me to feel human....

 

 

I've been working on painting these jewelry pendants I bought for cheap off of eBay several months ago.  I'm just using nail polish.

All I Ever Needed

We went to our districts Ministerial Retreat and had a wonderful time.  On Friday night we finally got to bed at 1:30am (technically Saturday 3/15/14)  I was to give a devotional to the district pastors wives on Saturday and was thinking and praying about it as I drifted off to sleep.

    Reaching the early hours of morning my phone alarm went off and I awoke quoting Psalm 139:17

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! and Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  I was coaxed out of a beautiful dream that left me sitting on the side of the bed with my head swirling.  Trying to grasp the full import of what had just been seen in my sleeping mind.  I have never woke from a dream quoting scripture, and these verses struck my subconscious mind then went straight to my heart.

    In this dream I was following a line of small red berries each about the size of a marble.  I didn't notice anything else except those berries.  I was gathering them up as fast as I could, all the while following the trail of them.  I stuffed them into my pockets, pulled out my shirt like a bowl and filled it full, anywhere I could put a berry I did, until my hands and arms was full of these berries. 

    All of the sudden I came to the very last one, there were no more.  And like any good gardener who comes to the end of the line, I stood up to survey where I had been, and see what was ahead.  Looking back was nothing but darkness, pitch black darkness.  I turned to face forward and there right in front of me was a HUGE clear container FULL of these little red berries.  It was 4 times taller and me, and so wide.  It contained thousands, no millions of them!  My arms went slack.  The many berries I had desperately gathered in my arms fell to the floor in deafening silence.  Right before my eyes was all the berries I could ever need, enough for me, my family and more!

    Then it hit me as I sat on the side of the bed, groggily recalling my dream.  This was for me....God had sent this dream for me.  I have tried, and fought, and cried, and prayed and sought to believe that God had a future for me.  I had longed to believe that I would feel hope again and regain interest and that spark of life I had been craving since Karagen died.  The message in the dream was a promise that He had a future and a hope, for me!    That the thoughts He thought of me were precious, how great is the sum of them!  I could spend my whole life trying to accept my circumstances and trying to gather as much strength (the berries) or peace (the berries) or hope (the berries) or whatever.  All I ever needed could be found in Him!  Without measure, without end!

  This dream has changed me.  Somehow it has spoken peace to my very troubled heart.  I have struggled with depression, nothing kept my interest, it seemed like my very life was sapped out of me.  My spark was gone, and I struggled with constant sadness, and numbness and nothingness.  Since this dream I know that God has awakened my heart, He has breathed life into me!  He has blessed me with His presence and Wow, it feels sooo good..  This is healing.  This is Life.  This is Hope.

Peace

If you could see inside my heart and pictures could be words....
You'd see peace.

At long last.....
peace.

There has been a battle raging inside of me for so long,
without relief.....

The ripping and tearing,  if you could feel it and see it,
You'd see me in thousands of pieces
Scattered.

I felt like Humpty Dumpty,
with no hope of ever being put back together again.

These words were claimed,
"My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"

Drowning.

Numb.

Angry.

Hot, stinging tears.
They burned my eyes and seared  my heart.

A heart that was crushed 1000 times over.

Silence.

Silence.....

Silence.....


Peace.

And you are complete in Him.

Colossians 2:10a