1 Year....and a Day

How can one year be gone already?

I ask that.

Time marches on.

Like a million leaves falling...

My memories mimic the season.

My feelings too.

Sadness, constant sadness.

Confusion.

Depression.

Anger.

Loss.

Tears...oh so many tears.

Emptiness.

Struggle.

Weakness.

I cannot bear to visit her grave.  She should not be there, she should be with me...with us.

I accidently write her name.

I accidently call her in from play....still.

I dream of her and awake with tears and crying sighs.

I feel the emptiness she left behind.  Oh how I feel it.

I receive gifts in her honor, I feel mocked and wish for her.  I don't want things, I want her.

I have little shrines to help us remember what I can never forget.

She's gone and so is a part of me.



I feel bad this seems so dark, so bleak.  But this grief is so great, so heavy.  I miss her so much, there aren't enough words to describe how much.